Robbie's Son Seems Like a Registered Sex Offender
by liamdude5
Summary: Robbie's son, Toby, met Dipper's daughter, Annabel, when she was five. But, now, she's twenty and he's only nine years older than her. So, is the fact that he digs her really that creepy? Rated PG 13 for sexual refrences and language.


The future never seems to turn out how you expect it to. At least, that's how Dipper felt.

For one thing, as much as he always dreamed it would happen, he never thought he would be married to Wendy Corduroy, holding their sleeping five year old daughter in his arms.

For another thing, he never expected to be on a double date with Wendy, Robbie, and Tambry.

And, most of all, he never expected that he'd be taking his daughter to Robbie and Tambry's house so their 14 year old son could babysit.

But, if Dipper's learned anything over the years, it's that life isn't exactly predictable and that anything can happen. So, unexpected or not, he should still expect weird stuff to happen at this point.

But, thinking about how weird his life was would have to wait. Now, he had to ring the doorbell.

After a minute, Robbie came to the door, dressed like he could actually get into a fancy restaurant without getting called a ragamuffin.

"Hey guys," Robbie greeted.

"Hey," Dipper greeted, "You and Tambry ready to go?"

"Yeah," Robbie stated, "Hang on. Toby! The Pines are here!" No response. "Toby! Hang on, I'll get him out here. Come on in."

While Robbie and Tambry's house wasn't the nicest thing around, it was still nicer than Dipper and Wendy's modest mobile home. It had enough bedrooms so Robbie and Tambry could actually have guests stay overnight, it was twice as big as Dipper and Wendy's house, and there was an actual backyard with grass.

Dipper had considered finding a non mobile home when Wendy told him she was pregnant. But, Wendy asked Dipper to wait and see if it was necessary. And, as it turned out, it wasn't. All three of them were happy in the mobile home.

Unfortunately, Robbie's yelling had awoken Dipper's daughter, so it's time for me to stop dropping out exposition.

"Are we there yet," Annabel asked,

"Yeah," Dipper answered, "We got here not too long ago."

"Anna woke up," Wendy asked.

"I'm up Momma," Annabel replied.

"Good," Wendy stated, "I don't think your Cousin Toby would appreciate you being asleep the whole time you're here."

"It's still so weird hearing Robbie's son being referred to as my daughter's cousin," Dipper thought out loud.

"Hey," Wendy pointed out, "This isn't the worst way that could've happened. Remember that week Mabel had a crush on Robbie?"

"Oh dear gosh," Dipper shuddered, "Don't remind me."

"Ahem," Toby cleared his throat, having emerged from his room.

"Hey there, Toby," Dipper nervously greeted.

"You finally decided to leave your room today," Wendy asked.

"You always were my favorite Wendy," Toby complimented, "Always the only one brave enough to riff on me."

"Hey Toby," Annabel greeted.

"There's Annabel," Toby stated, "How you doing, girl?"

"Stop flirting," Annabel joked, "I'm way out of your league."

"I am not flirting," Toby replied, "If I were flirting, you'd know it."

"Ok," Dipper stammered, "Let's keep the statutory jokes away until we leave."

"Well," Tambry stated as her and Robbie came into the room, "Look who finally decided to join the living again."

"Wow Tambry," Wendy complimented, "Someone pulled out all the stops."

"Thank you," Tambry thanked.

"Robbie," Dipper stammered, "Objectively, you look a bit dashing."

"Thank you," Robbie awkwardly thanked.

"Wow," Toby gasped, "That was super weird for everybody. You're just weirding everybody out."

"Alright Toby," Dipper stated, "As always, thank you for the homophobic comments. You have our numbers and the number of where we're going."

"Yeah," Toby deadpanned, "I told you I doubled my rates, right?"

"I still think that's bull you did that," Wendy complained.

"I know it's bull," Toby replied, "But I can, so I will."

"Alright," Dipper stated, "Be good for Toby, alright?"

"Yes Daddy," Annabel replied.

"And Toby," Wendy ordered, "Remember, a five curse word minimum around her or we don't have to pay you."

"Yes Wendy," Toby deadpanned, "I lost that bet fair and square."

"Bye Toby," Robbie and Tambry stated.

"Goodbye Ma and Robbie," Toby waved off.

"Goodbye Annabel," Dipper and Wendy stated.

"Bye bye Mama and Papa," Annabel cried.

And, with that, the adults were gone and it was just Annabel and Toby.

"So," Toby thought out loud, "What shall we do with ourselves?"

"I don't know about you," Annabel stated, "But I'm in the mood for blues music and frozen yogurt."

"We don't have either of those things," Toby stated.

"I'm just offering a suggestion," Annabel defended.

"Well," Toby mocked, "Your suggestion stinks. You should work on that."

"Fine," Annabel scoffed, "Give me a better idea of what we can do today."

"Wanna play hide and go seek," Toby suggested.

"Eight, nine, ten," Annabel counted, "Ready or not, here I come."

Annabel tried looking everywhere she could. The living room, the kitchen, the backyard, but nothing.

She looked everywhere she could in the bedroom: under the bed, behind the dresser, under the carpet, but still no luck.

Then, she checked the closet, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just shoes, a large shoe box, and some board games.

But, the large shoe box looked a little weird. Annabel decided to check it out. And, sure enough...

The box was empty.

While Annabel was trying to figure that one out, a figure wearing a sweater over their head emerged from the shadows and grabbed Annabel on the shoulder.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh," Annabel screamed, punching the cloaked figure in what turned out to be the nose.

The figure started moaning and took off the sweater to reveal it was Toby.

"What are you doing," Annabel asked, "That's cheating."

"I thought it'd be funny to scare you," Toby answered, "But you assaulted me."

"It was not assault," Annabel objected, "It was self defense."

"Yeah, whatever," Toby groaned.

"So do you want to play again," Annabel asked, "You can hide this time."

"You know," Toby gave in, "At this point, I think I'm ready for us to go get some frozen yogurt."

"Hooray," Annabel cheered, "Being a kid got me what I want once again."

"Just let me throw some shoes on," Toby requested, "The frozen yogurt store is a few miles away."

"That's pretty far," Annabel complained, "Can I ride on your back?"

"No," Toby denied, "I'm not giving you a piggyback ride for that long."

After a few miles of piggyback riding, Annabel and Toby made it to the frozen yogurt store.

"Wow," Annabel gasped, "It's even more beautiful than I've ever imagined it could be."

"Yeah," Toby responded, "Not many stores are built with chrome."

"You can almost smell the future," Annabel stated.

"Hello," the cashier called out, "You ready to order?"

"Wow," Toby gasped, "No line. Fast service."

"Yeah," the cashier replied, "Not many people come here since they found out the guy who makes the frozen yogurt is a registered sex offender."

"What," Toby questioned.

"I know it will mean a lot to him that some people are willing to trust with him," the cashier gushed.

"Yeah," Toby stated, "We're gonna go."

"But what about frozen yogurt," Annabel asked.

"I'll let you watch five minutes of an R rated film back at home," Toby bargained.

"Rain check," Annabel told the cashier.

"Oh, sure," the cashier grumbled, "Leave, just like all the others. It's people like you who make registered sex offenders think there's still a stigma!"

"There is definitely still a stigma," Toby argued as he left the shop with Annabel.

"Well," the cashier growled, "No free toppings for those two."

About three hours later, the adults returned to Robbie's home to find the TV on and Annabel sleeping on Toby's lap.

"Hello," Toby whispered.

"Hey," Dipper whispered, "We're back."

"Hi Son," Robbie greeted.

"Sorry we're so late," Tambry apologized, "Wendy bet Robbie he couldn't lick a flagpole, and things escalated from there."

"At least I'll have a great story to tell Annabel one day," Wendy thought out loud.

"Our daughter must never know of any of this," Dipper demanded.

"Speaking of which," Toby added on, handing Annabel over to Wendy, "Here you go."

"What is she," Dipper questioned, "A football?"

"Calm down," Wendy reassured, "He's a teen."

"Yeah," Robbie quipped, "Have fun with Annabel when she's a teenager."

"I want to go home now," Dipper complained.

"Alright," Wendy stated, heading for the door, "I had fun tonight."

"I actually did too," Dipper added on.

"Ditto," Robbie agreed.

"We're definitely doing it again," Tambry demanded, "Soon."

"Sure," Wendy agreed, "As long as Toby's willing to babysit again."

"Sure," Toby mumbled, "Yeah. Whatever."

"Alright," Dipper reaponded, "Well, see you guys soon."

"Bye," Robbie and Tambry stated.

"Bye," Wendy replied, walking out the door.

"Sayonara," Dipper added on, following Wendy.

"So..." Robbie trailed off.

"So what," Toby questioned.

"How was the babysitting," Tambry asked, "What did you do with Annabel?"

"Not much," Toby answered, "Played some games, went for ice cream."

"She really likes you, you know," Robbie stated.

"Yeah," Tambry added on, "Dipper was telling us that Annabel had been excited for a week that she was able to see you again."

"Really," Toby questioned, "She likes me that much?"

"Yeah," Robbie responded, "She's crazy about you."

"Huh," Toby thought, "I guess this means I actually have a friend."


End file.
